Soap Shank

Ok. We've all seen a Dateline special on prison life or that tv show on Fox-Prison Break, or we just got out serving a dime and are bunking with our celly while we are on probation. Needless to say, we all know what a shank is. It's some type of normal household or prisonhold item crafted into a sharp, pointy, knifelike shape with the sole intent of causing, if they're lucky, deadly harm or at least seriously injuring the person stabbed with it. Wikipedia (THE most reliable word source for an intense game of Scrabble) defines shank as: a slang for a makeshift knife usually crafted from scrap metal, or (as a verb) the use of such a weapon. So, I get into the shower the other day. I have a routine. I get in, wet down, put shampoo in my hair, wash my hair, use a nice smelling body wash on all the pertinents, a special wash for the zone (it starts with the name of a season and ends with Adam's wife), and then last, but not least catch anything left out and do a quick shave with what, you guessed it, a bright white bar of Ivory soap. Imagine my surprise when I turn to pick up the soap (prison reference not intended, the kids leave it in the bottom of the tub after their bath) and the once whole bar has been carved into a sharp, pointy, weaponlike, kill my parents in their sleep SHANK!!!! I screamed for my husband, he came around the corner, and I haaah-yaaahed (insert karate sound effects) him with our newly found weapon only to slip on the side of the tub, the shank goes flying, and my wet, naked booty is now resting on the bath rug. Good times! I think I'll sleep with one eye open as well as send a new product idea to the people at Ivory soap! They can call it shanksoap-for those special moments. May your special moments not include weaponry carved by your 8 old!