Is it Ready?

I have a germ issue. Not as intense as that guy Monk on that TBS show, but bad enough. In a recent survey that asked me if I preferred hugs or kisses, I wrote hugs definitely since less germs were exchanged-it's like that. I have antibacterial soaps in my car, my purse, under all 3 bathroom cabinets as well as at the sinks, and the wipes in my glove compartment. I give them as gifts for teachers (let's face it they work in a germ sesspool with boogers, runny noses, and lord only knows what after the bathroom breaks-they need it)! I have the Costco pack of Clorox wipes as well as the trifecta of Lysol bottles-I HATE GERMS! It is now to the point where we will be at the store, get in the car, and if I forget to pass the bottle back to the kids, one of them will say mom-I need to itch my nose, hurry, pass the soap! They know the rules of engagement. They know a germ can enter at any time through any orifice and those hands had better be clean! I know this sounds nazi-ish. I realize the implications this will have for the therapy I may be required to pay for and yet, I can't stop. In fact, it gets worse. How can that be you ask? Well, what happens if a germ does make its way past the arsenal of antibacterial layers? Three days later they start to get sick. I hear a stuffy nose, I see a kleenex being grabbed, I hear a cough, I hear I'm tired and my heart begins to pound in my chest-Noooooo! They can't be getting sick, how did a germ get by???? Not on my shift!!!! I have plans tomorrow. You need to be able to go to school! Get out a cup honey, we're getting the Airborne!! Are you sure you can only have a half-remind me to do another half in a couple of hours-we don't have time to be sick-here, watch the bubbles. Is it ready yet? Is it still bubbling? I don't know, I can't tell. Is it ready yet? Put it to your ear. Sneeze. Is it ready? Cough. If you can't hear bubbles, it's ready. I can't tell-nose wipe. I think it's ready-go, go, go, drink it!!!! Aaaaah, I can hear the healing begin. And yet, as she coughs again, I wonder-is this tube that I paid $6 for the answer? I don't care. I am paying for peace of mind if nothing else. Everytime it's ready, I'm a little more confident that our germ free existence can continue as planned and IF and when it is penetrated again, we'll be ready with the magic tube to fight the battle until the end.