Today is Thursday, but it feels like a Monday. Today is the first day that I have been left alone (with Esther) after a summer of company from the tonsil healing older girls, visit from my mom, and having James home to help with moving prep. Today I braved the drive to the 20 minute drop off line at the older girls new Charter school....by myself....without having a morning cup of coffee. I made it, they made it, and as I saw them pulling at their knee socks and yelling back at me, Don't worry, I have my lunchpail! I sighed a sigh of gratitude that they had their lunch, but more than that a sigh of wow- I can do this, of wow-another school year in full swing, of wow-they look so grown up in their uniforms!
As I opened the door to come into our house of ready to move boxes, I am grateful for the time I had with them this summer, the cancelled vacation that forced us to get creative and play Twister in the middle of the living room floor, the fighting, the giggles, the loss of two front teeth. Summer is leaving, we can feel the weather changing, and so my spirit is changing with it. I have had a sense of loss this week, of saying goodbye to a home we have enjoyed, of saying goodbye to first and second graders and newborn clothes and hello to second and third graders and 3 to 6 months outfits. Could everyone please freeze and stop growing? The fluidity of life weighs on me like an anchor at sea and yet the waves propel me to continue, to show up and be the best I can be in the moment and to embrace the next season with joy.
Happy 7th Birthday!
8 years ago
2 comments:
Susan,
I hear you! I keep asking my big boys to stop growing and demanding that my baby stops growing, but... NO ONE is listening to me either!
Cassie
Oh, my friend...
I keep telling my kids that I'm going to buy some "No Grow!" Shampoo and use it on them any moment now. They're like "No! No! We want to grow up!" Why is it that we Mommys want them to just stay ours for that little bit longer while they just are bursting at the bit to pull away and grow up? *sigh* I guess this, too, is just the circle of life. (Not to sound New Age-y!) And very much just the way things are supposed to be, I guess.
Bittersweet, bittersweet days. At least I'm not alone in having that little bit of heartache each time they outgrow a pair of shoes -- and especially now that we're selling the things the babies have grown out of instead of saving them for the "next boy" to wear. The very idea that there is no "next boy"! Sometimes that's such a relief and sometimes, again, so very bittersweet.
Don't worry, my friend...as I keep telling myself, soon there will be something else to fret about -- they'll be teenagers and we'll be like "WILL THEY EVER GROW UP?!" LOL
{{{Hugs}}},
Staci
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