The "Different" Phone Call

A couple weeks ago we had a studio session with a photographer. This week he contacted us to say Esther's birth announcements were ready, an innocent phone call, an exchange of information....so I thought. His initial contact came via email which asked me to call him to arrange pick up and payment. I did this. On the land line phone. Glued to my computer as I was doing 9,000 other things. Normally this isn't a problem. Enter husband. Enter husband after a full meal of Mexican food. Now I'm not one to throw a person under the bus, especially one that will possibly have to wipe me in my old age, but I thought he was coming in to the office to lay on the futon. So, I dialed. I began my conversation with a hi, this is Susan returning your email, when is a good time to....BRRMMPPPHHH...squeak, FRRFRRFRRRMMMPPHHH, squeak, PPPPAAAAHHHRRRMMMPPPHHH, squeak....what the heck? Enter God forsaken, rotting smell of the universe. I did not know what to say...I was distracted, I was laughing to the point I couldn't see, it was beyond funeral laughter, it was there was no way on earth he did not hear that-laughter!!! What if he thinks it's me??? Why won't my husband take the phone from me as I'm laughingly, weavingly, passing it to him, trying to leave the room for a breath of fresh air?? He hung me out to dry...at least a good 20, loooonnggg seconds elapsed full of garbled laughing before I could hysterically make inhaled words of apology and hurriedly write down an address to meet him. GOOD GRIEF!! Then I had to apologize, via email of course, for fear that he would think it was the way he said he was grouting his bathroom, and hope and pray he did not hear the loudest, most inappropriate FART I have, in my 15 years with this man, ever heard!! What could I say?? I fibbed and told him something I can't remember now and his response (via email of course) was yeah, that was a "different" phone call. WOW! Different, you betcha, wrong is more like it, but I'll take different.